If I were a mixture, I would be the most complex heterogeneous mixture in this universe. Or not.
I'm someone who can be such a pain in the arse. Why, you might ask? Well, to be honest, I couldn't even comprehend my thoughts and feelings at times. There are moments when I fully understand my emotions, yes, but trust me... It happens rarely. (And to think that I've been trying to master reading myself for 17 years and a couple of months!) Unfortunately for me--as well as everyone else around--I still haven't figured out why exactly am I this "kaleidoscopic" type of person.
See, in my early childhood, I have always been used to being the center of attention. I felt as if the spotlight was focused on me, and only me. I was the first great-granddaughter of my great-grandparents, the first grandchild of my grandparents, and the first born of my mother and father. I have this feeling that I was the apple of their eyes... at least until my spotlight-snatcher sister came four years after I was born. But you know what? That was actually one of the best things that happened to me in my life. I became an "ate". Soon after that, my other cousins came, and--let me be melodramatic about this--I became history. I became invisible.
My mom used to tell me how different my sister is from me. On a positive note, she said I was more mature during my pre-adolescent years than my sister during her own. I must say, I quite agree. I have always tried to control my feelings, thoughts, and words. I never learned to "reason out" with my parents until I was in high school. I thought I have finally understood why this is how I am. But no, it seems like I was mistaken. Perhaps I'm this complicated because I tried not to complicate my life. Well, look at how it ended up--nothing but the complete opposite of what I wanted to happen. That's one of the greatest realization I have encountered: I over-think things too much (note: Redundancy was meant to exaggerate stuff).
Having mentioned high school earlier, I shall now tell you a summary of how I lived through the tough times of this stage. When I entered high school, I was this energy-filled, excited, unknowing, innocent, and proactive thirteen-year-old. When I got out, I became a rainbow zombie. (It sounds weird, I know.) That's how I summarize my so-called indescribable high school adventure. It might seem ironic, but I was indeed a rainbow zombie. I was in" haggard mode" all the time; I often talked nonsense about some stuff; and yet I still managed to radiate something I had not known I had: Kick-ass energy.
I know I don't have to tell you how amazing the roller coaster ride we call "high school", but let me at least share a few personal stuff about it. High school made me experience many things. But what I will never forget is that it was during this stage that I got to test my strengths, weaknesses, and limits. This, in turn, allowed me to gradually grasp a few important life lessons that will help in finding out the mystery behind my complexity. By the way, high school was the best. And I miss it.
I know this post doesn't explain the way I am as much as you expected it, but surely this has given you enough information that I am right. My life's probably a kaleidoscope: something that has different colors which symbolize how random I am, how colorful--even if some days are dull and boring--my days are, and how inexplicably indescribable my life is.
My mom used to tell me how different my sister is from me. On a positive note, she said I was more mature during my pre-adolescent years than my sister during her own. I must say, I quite agree. I have always tried to control my feelings, thoughts, and words. I never learned to "reason out" with my parents until I was in high school. I thought I have finally understood why this is how I am. But no, it seems like I was mistaken. Perhaps I'm this complicated because I tried not to complicate my life. Well, look at how it ended up--nothing but the complete opposite of what I wanted to happen. That's one of the greatest realization I have encountered: I over-think things too much (note: Redundancy was meant to exaggerate stuff).
Having mentioned high school earlier, I shall now tell you a summary of how I lived through the tough times of this stage. When I entered high school, I was this energy-filled, excited, unknowing, innocent, and proactive thirteen-year-old. When I got out, I became a rainbow zombie. (It sounds weird, I know.) That's how I summarize my so-called indescribable high school adventure. It might seem ironic, but I was indeed a rainbow zombie. I was in" haggard mode" all the time; I often talked nonsense about some stuff; and yet I still managed to radiate something I had not known I had: Kick-ass energy.
I know I don't have to tell you how amazing the roller coaster ride we call "high school", but let me at least share a few personal stuff about it. High school made me experience many things. But what I will never forget is that it was during this stage that I got to test my strengths, weaknesses, and limits. This, in turn, allowed me to gradually grasp a few important life lessons that will help in finding out the mystery behind my complexity. By the way, high school was the best. And I miss it.
I know this post doesn't explain the way I am as much as you expected it, but surely this has given you enough information that I am right. My life's probably a kaleidoscope: something that has different colors which symbolize how random I am, how colorful--even if some days are dull and boring--my days are, and how inexplicably indescribable my life is.